RV Parking Love Language: A Ballet in Bermudas

It's people-watching for the camping crowd. Late each afternoon, newly arrived RVers sway past the campground office toward their temporary homesteads. The weariness of the day's drive is often written across their faces, but within minutes a transformation occurs. Purpose replaces fatigue as the familiar setup ritual begins. With surprising precision, each traveler performs a well-rehearsed role, and soon another campsite springs to life.

I've watched this scene unfold again and again. It's an entertaining Ballet in Bermudas as fellow wanderers perform the choreography of nomadic homesteading.

Couples new to RVing often find a steep learning curve. That curve includes more than tanks, storage compartments, and vehicle dimensions. It also includes one of the most important RV skills of all: learning how to communicate while parking the rig.

Over time, most couples develop their own RV Parking Communication Style (RVPCS). Some rely on cell phones or walkie-talkies. Others are robustly vocal. A few seem to have perfected a modified semaphore system worthy of a naval signalman.

Stopping Short

Our learning curve began with the natural vocal style—just yelling out the window—but we soon found the shortfalls. I had to repeatedly leave the driver's seat to see the facial expressions that often accompany spousal discourse. Non-verbal cues (e.g., the raised eyebrow and rolled eye) are essential to the marital communication experience. The parking process just grew longer than it needed to be for what should be a reasonably easy task.

Our next attempt was to develop a series of hand signals, but Sue struggled with the concept that I had to actually see those signals for any hope of success. She has to stay within view of my rearview mirrors. I would go looking for her only to find her standing directly behind the motorhome making directing motions I had no way of seeing. Finally, at another camp, in one more trial attempt at communicating, we lined up the mirrors. This time Sue had signals-but they were HER signals. I'm looking in the mirror at a reverse image, straining to hear any verbal cues while I visualize the non-verbal ones. Then, in the mirror, I see a frantic double-arm stirring motion that apparently means I should turn in the opposite direction of what my reversed mirror image is suggesting. It's literally smoke and mirrors as the RV tail pipe clouds our space. There was no success from this trial, but we did manage to utilize her gestures to shoo away flying bugs from our evening meal.

One of the benefits of frequently setting up campsites is that repetition fine-tunes your systems and improves efficiency. Our systems and routines as to water, electricity, and accessories were streamlining just fine, but the primary task of simply parking the RV was keeping us from the campfire.

Stay out of the river

The breakthrough finally came late one night as I tried to nod off. Apparently, a vision of me backing off the side of a mountain campsite following her flailing, bug-killing arm motions focused my thoughts on the need to develop a better way to communicate directions.

I thought to myself, what was the most basic information I needed to put the 25-foot motorhome in its designated space? First, I want to know: where I need to end up on the parking pad (left to right and how far back); and second, what are my clearances-overhead and on either side? One simple question finally emerged: "Where do you want my butt to go?" By extension, my "butt" was the back end of the motorhome. It worked the first time! Apparently, we had discovered our RV love language.

She stood where I could see her in the mirrors and simply gestured left or right as to where the butt of the RV should go. More deliberate signaling to the left means a sharper turn to get there. Lighter arm movements to the left or right to just tweak the trajectory. The simple solution paid big rewards and shortened our time to get to the evening meal by the campfire. (Note: No bugs were lost in the execution of these directions.)

Each campsite adds another layer of familiarity to the routine. A few seconds are shaved off here, a little confidence gained there. Best of all, we've found our own RV parking love language. It helps us start each stop on the right foot and sets the tone for the days ahead.

We wish you success in finding your own parking communication style. And if you ever notice another couple quietly watching while you set up camp, it might be us enjoying the evening's entertainment as we observe yet another Ballet in Bermudas . . . Along the Pooka Trail.

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Pooka Trail Notes

• Every RV couple eventually develops their own communication system. The best one is the one both people understand.

• If parking regularly leads to frustration, simplify the instructions. Fewer signals often produce better results.

• The spotter's most important job is helping the driver understand where the rear of the RV needs to go and alerting them to obstacles.

• A successful campsite setup is measured less by speed and more by arriving with both your marriage and your mirrors intact.

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Lucy's 1954 hit about RV life